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Broken Wings

It was late in the evening and I was alone on a dark, deserted road.  I had just exited the freeway but I wasn’t driving; I was on foot. It was strange and eerie.  I remember purposely taking the ramp a short distance ahead of my planned exit because I didn’t want to pass my destination. I wasn’t lost… I had a vague idea of my whereabouts but I still wasn’t quite sure how to get where I wanted to go.

I called my cousin, Sandra, for directions but since I was unable to give her my exact location, she was unable to help.  

Just as I hung up the phone, I saw a train rounding a curve in the distance. It was heading in the direction from which I had just come.   I felt some relief as the train sped past me because I knew I had a way to get back home if I could not find my way. But that thought provided only solace, not a solution, because I was certain I did not want to go back.  

After walking a short distance, I came upon a street sign that read “Euclid” or maybe it was “Eureka.” My memory is foggy on the details so I can’t recall exactly.  I trained my eyes toward the intersection ahead hoping to make out the name of the cross street, but I was unable to see it clearly.

I spotted another street sign a little farther down the road on the opposite side of the tracks; but the distance was too great and I could only make out what looked like a white swirl. There were no words or letters on the sign. There was only the small fading swirl that looked to me like the white half of the Yin-Yang symbol. I had no idea what that might mean.

Motionless and confused I stood there, alone, in the middle of all the darkness; but I wasn’t lost. I knew where I was going; I was just unsure which path to take.  

Before I had cautiously taken that earlier exit ramp, I knew exactly where I was headed and I knew I was going in the right direction.  Now I felt stuck. I was unable to move forward because I didn’t know which road to take and unable to turn back because I didn’t want to return to where I had already been.  

Suddenly everything went completely black. And startled by fear, I jolted forward and found myself sitting alone in the middle of my bed awakened to the realization that I had just dreamed my life.

I am a woman with wings, still unable to fly.

 

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